Jewish Marriage in the 21st Century
The symbols that constitute the ritual aim at transforming what otherwise would be a common, prosaic, even bureaucratic act into an elevating moment in life.
A cup of wine in a special ceremonial goblet is no longer a glass of wine at a bar or restaurant. Rings are not jewelry accessories. A ketubah is not a compliance form signed at a government’s office. Words are not words, one says, but promises, reflections of dreams and hopes, and confessions of what one’s feelings are.
Marriage is a sublime promise made between two human beings in love.
The promise to be sensitive to the other’s needs as one would be to one’s own;
the opening of trust that allows for shared intimacy;
and the understanding that marriage initiates life together as a family in the community opens a new world ruled by a principle that in Judaism is called “hesed.”
The untranslatable word “hesed” encapsulates all those interpersonal values Judaism considers the highest in life: Love, respect, care, trust, loyalty, and responsibility.
The Jewish marriage ceremony reflects a couple’s inner feelings, wanting to express privately as well as publicly their highest values and deepest hopes.
It is a joyous and transcendental experience that compels all attending to approach it with a sense of trepidation, awe, joy, and gratitude.
Matrimony initiates not a mere change of lifestyle; it is an opening into a higher dimension of existence.
